The Cost of Wealth
by Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja
Summary: Everyone needs a chance for revenge, even or favorite little Fire Prince. CRACK FIC! Co-author Kris the ninja pirate.


Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Avatar, though one of these days I will own all of the dvds.

A/N: I was talking to my friends about Zuko getting banished, and we figured that he must've done something to get back at his dad before he left. This story is not meant to be serious in any way.

Warning: I'm writing it, oocness, crazyness, … basically… CRACK FIC!!

* * *

The Cost of Wealth

* * *

"Don't worry nephew, I'm sure you can find the Avatar and return home. Even if your father, grandfather, and great grandfather failed, I know you can do it!" Iroh smiled.

"You know that's not really helping." Zuko said, glaring at his uncle, which didn't look that threatening seeing as though he looked like a kid who wrapped toilet paper around his head for Halloween.

"Yeah, I don't feel like thinking of a good pep talk today." He shrugged. "But if I did, I would say to keep your mind set on what you need to do and you can do it!"

"Oh, my mind is set alright. It's set on REVENGE!!"

"Zuko, what have I told you about revenge?"

"…Always include you in my plans?"

"Exactly. So what do you have in mind?" Iroh grinned.

* * *

Later that day

* * *

"Fire Lord Ozai, I have some news from Jerry that you might find important." A random guard said as he bowed to the Fire Lord.

"Who's Jerry?" Ozai asked, wondering why he never knew who was working for him.

"You know Jerry, down in money management."

"Right… So what's the news?"

"Well, someone has maxed out all of your credit cards."

"WHAT?! Who did this?"

"Well we're not sure yet, but whoever it was left a note. It said 'Off to buy 6,000 pelicans, See ya later.'"

"Hm… whoever did this will pay!" Ozai shouted as he jumped out of his seat and ran out of the room.

* * *

Later

* * *

"Pelicans… 6,000 pelicans. Who would buy 6,000 pelicans with my credit cards?" Ozai wondered out loud as he headed toward the Pelican shop.

"Pelican shop owner. I need to know who bought 6,000 pelicans in here." He demanded as he walked up to the owner.

"No one bought no 6,000 pelicans from me. The town drunk came in here and tried to buy 10,000 with some weird paper stuff, but I threw him out. There was also this weird girl who bought 5,000, she said she needed them for some weird experiment. I was part of a weird experiment that involved pelicans once. They tried to give me wings." The old shopkeeper said, rambling on and on.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE STORY!!" Ozai finally shouted. "I just want to know if anyone bought 6,000 pelicans?!"

"Not that I recall, though I had a kid who looked like a mummy come in here and buy 3,000 and then an old guy who bought another 3,000 about an hour later."

"Zuko." Ozai glared.

"You want a pelican?" The shopkeeper asked. "It's one for 4 gold coins."

"That's a rip-off… I'M OFF!" He shouted, then ran off.

* * *

At the docks… or harbor… PLACE WHERE THE BOATS ARE!!

* * *

"Now which boat is Zuko in again." Ozai said, looking around. "Oh right, it should be the one without people saying goodbye and crying and other mushy crap like that."

"FARWELL BEAUTIFUL FIRE NATION!!" Someone was shouting from a boat.

"Zuko!

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! AND I WILL MISS YOU!!

"… He's shouting to no one." He said, looking around at the empty dock.

"I WILL RETURN!!" He finished his speech, which Ozai completely ignored. Suddenly 6,000 pelicans flew into the air and took off in all different directions as Zuko's boat left.

"… DANG IT!! Now how am I suppose to get my money back for all of those stupid pelicans! CURSE YOU ZUKO!! CURSE YOU!!"

* * *

Zuko's ship

* * *

"Revenge is sweet." Zuko grinned as he sipped his mango juice.

"Indeed it is nephew, indeed it is." Iroh agreed, sipping his tea. "But now that we've left, I feel like I need to be a better uncle. So now I'm going to teach you firebending and important life lessons that you will completely ignore."

"Sounds good to me! Now let's go find the Avatar!"

"Yes, let's!"

"… Uncle?"

"Yes nephew?"

"Where do we start?"

* * *

3 years later

* * *

We see Zuko sitting with his father, Fire Lord Ozai, having a lovely conversation about how he killed the Avatar, which we all know is actually a lie, but Ozai doesn't know that yet. They continue discussing what Zuko went through for the past 3 years, though Ozai is drowning most of it out while probably thinking something along the lines of "Oh wow, he is annoying. What a wimp, how did he manage to kill the Avatar?" They talk a little longer until the subject of what happened 3 years ago before Zuko left comes up.

"Why pelicans?!" Ozai asked, incredibly confused at why Zuko would choose such strange birds.

"Why not? They're lovely tropical birds." Zuko said with a grin.

"I suppose, but it's still a very strange bird to choose."

"I know, but I love them!"

"By the way, what did you do with the rest of my money?"

"By the way, that's none of your business."

"You better tell me before I kill you."

"You really care don't you?"

"Oh, just tell me."

"Oh, fine. I bought a lifetime supply of mango juice."

"Mango juice?"

"Mango juice is delicious!"

"…You need to stop starting your sentences with whatever word I start mine with."

"…You are mean."

"QUIT IT!!"

"Quit what?"

"YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! You know what! I think you didn't kill the Avatar. Azula did, she just said you did incase he's alive!"

"Yep, that's true."

"…You loser." Ozai said before shooting two bolts of lightning at him.

"Oh crap!" Zuko shouted as he redirected them. "DUDE! It worked! THAT ROCKS!! Well, I'm off to join the Avatar now and find mom cause I have some weird hunch that's telling me she's alive. BYE DAD!! Tell Azula I said PEACE OUT!"

And thus ends the lovely family reunion. Zuko ran off to join the Avatar, Ozai went to find out what was so fascinating about pelicans, and the rest of the world just sat there and wondered "What the hell is going on and why does Zuko love mango juice so much?"

* * *

The End

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A/N: Thus ends my beautiful one shot… Yep, that's pretty much it. I hope you enjoyed the story and my version of the end of the Day of Black Sun.

Zuko: READ!!

Iroh: AND!!

Ozai: REVIEW!!

All three: OR NO COOKIES FOR YOU!!


End file.
